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The doctor who delivered one of my children, some 30+ years ago, died Tuesday. He went into the hospital for knee surgery and died a few days later.

So much for elective surgery!

Birthdays Doggie Style

Last night we went to a doggie birthday. The dog's owners are lesbian couple. Someone described the crowd as "eclectic"...I'll say, Actually, it was one of the best parties I've been to in ages. There were about 20 dogs, all well behaved. Most of the dogs know each other from the park.

There was a lot of food and drink for the humans. The "piece de resistance", however, was the birthday cake for the dogs...meatloaf with potato icing.

Today I'm off to my granddaughter's birthday party. I wonder what kind of cake she'll have. It better be chocolate!

Life In LA

Several weeks ago,my housekeeper asked for Thursday and Friday off. When I asked her why she told me she was having a boob job. When I asked her who was doing it, she told me of some Beverly Hills plastic surgeon.

When she came back on Monday, I tried to send her home. I was worried she might hurt herself. She refused. Said she was fine as long as she didn't raise her arms.Promised me she'd be careful. Never complained.

She looks terrific. If I weren't so afraid of doctors, I'd ask her for a referral. Incidentally, she often rides her motorcycle to work. I think I was in the wrong profession.

How Bad Is This?

I have a friend with A LOT of money. She's a good person. Wouldn't hurt a fly. All of her children are dead. Her husband is dead. Her remaining relatives have abandoned her. The few that haven't, probably want her $$$$.

Today, I helped her start to get her affairs in order. Her holdings are all over the place and are difficult to manage. Today we got started putting them in one place. This is a painful task for me, reminiscent of doing this for my mother.

My friend is old. She is overwhelmed and seems scattered. Actually, she has all her marbles. She's hard of hearing and misses a lot, so she seems senile.

I was with her for 5 hours today, trying to start to get her affairs in order, a daunting task. We made a lot of headway today. We got the process started.

So how does a good person end up having all her children and her husband die? How does she end up being vulnerable to the vultures circling her nest egg?

Next time anyone says, "What goes around, comes around," I'm going to deck them.

More From The Health Club

This is from the past....

I sit on a an exercise bike in a remote corner, far from the spandex and the meat market, with my head buried in a book. I am clearly autistic or trying to be. My body language says, "Go away." Somehow this posture seems to invite people to my side. Not only do they talk to me, but they tell me their problems and ask ME (of all people) for advice. You must understand that I, at my ripe old age, am still trying to figure out how to get thru my life somewhat gracefully.

So here's one sad tale. A very overweight woman (in spandex) tells me that her husband of 30 plus years has decided he's gay and has taken up with a 20 something year old. She is distraught, confused, hurt, etc. What she finds odd though is that her sex life has improved since her husband has taken up with this young man. She would like to know what I would do under the circumstances. I tell her that I would not be having sex with her husband, but if she felt she must, I advised her to wear a full body wet suit. Wouldn't you think my remark would send her far away from me? Wrong. I became her new best therapist. Go figure!

From The Past

I have been to the health club a few times this past week, but have nothing new to report. I'm too busy just trying to get out. I hate it there, but I'm determined to put in a month or two...fighting gravity and all afflictions of an aging body.

But here is some old news from previous visits. This should explain why I hate it there so much. While getting undressed for the shower, (humiliated by the state of my sagging and expanding body) I got to witness two naked lesbians making out...hot and heavy they were. I left for the shower before they escalated. Now, do you think I should have to witness this in my old age?

And yes, dear daughter, a lot of these surgeries are south of the border, invisible to the naked eye, but talked about as the latest and greatest.

Stay tuned for more health club stories. Some you just won't believe.

IT'S NOT A PRETTY PICTURE

...getting old that is. After years away from the health club, I rejoined, but not happily. You see, my husband (who LOVES exercise) wanted to join the club. It was cheaper to have me rejoin and bring him in as a member than to have him join as a new member. So here I am, the very reluctant exerciser. It's month to month, so I only have to pay for one month and then I can drop out.

The women at the club are mostly young and fit. They arrive wearing make-up and fancy tight fitting workout clothes. I feel like an aged beached whale. Clearly, this is not good for my self esteem. But, I'll do it for a month (I'll be out of town for a week of it). I can't stand wasting the $$$$.

Here's the real depressing part. I've gained about 3 pounds since I've started. Don't tell me it's muscle, it's fat.

Now here's the good part. The locker room is a wonderful place to learn about the new plastic surgeries (there are some we don't want to know about) and what these ladies lives are about (you can't imagine).

Stay posted.....

I'm Back!

It's been a hell of a month or so. Everything was turned upside down. Just wading my way out of a lot of disasters. No sense posting whiny blogs...too boring.

Also, my daughter's barbs have been directed elsewhere. How can I defend myself without an attack????

How weird is it for a mother and daughter to do this sorting out with blogs. In case anyone out there (all 3 readers????) take these hi-tech fisticuffs too seriously, be warned that we start with some truth and run with it. It's just too much fun this way.

I Hope She Takes Her Computer!

My daughter is going away for a week. If she doesn't take her computer, we will have to put these dueling blogs on hold for a week. This is truly an insane way to communicate with your family, but I'm hooked.

Now let's get something straight about hippie parenting. I was too old to be a hippie. Except for the five years I took off from work to try to be a mother, I was a working stiff all day and went to school some nights and summers. I was trying to get more credits to boost my salary. Hippies didn't do that.

Actually, I was jealous. I was a wanna-be...a spectator. I had too many responsibilities. I was just loosey-goosey on weekends and free time.

Yes, I believed that if you couldn't pronounce it, you shouldn't eat it. That kind of got blown away with the Mrs. Gooch's and MM scandal, but that's another chapter.

I have to agree that you did not have a typical upbringing...think about the police digging up yards around the corner from our house looking for dead rabbits. What's a kid supposed to think about that?

I'm truly sorry for the past. I was trying to be different from my parents. I think you are doing a much, much better job than I did...and that's the truth.

Keep it up and stay married.

Our Virtual Family

Check this out:


http://suedoenim.blogspot.com/2007_08_01_archive.html

My Daughter's Blog

Check out my daughter's blog at:

http://suedoenim.blogspot.com/2007_08_01_archive.html

You'll understand my Mea Culpa if you read her blog about denial. Maybe we should write a book?

Mea Culpa

This is a response to my daughter's blog about DENIAL.

So I sewed clothes and drank jug wine. It was the beach. It was the 70's. Less dangerous than some of the things you did.

Oh, and about the house with the seance, it was up for sale. It was a beautiful house. I just should have had it exorcised.

What you forgot to mention is that in that tony little neighborhood our neighbors were worthy of a book or two. On one side lived a black woman (probably the only black in our town) running a house of prostitution and on the other side was a raging communist whose husband died in the Spanish Civil War.

Beat the house before that where our neighbor was a convicted murderer who left his country to escape jail. Odd thing about it all....they were all wonderful neighbors.

Life and Death

Death---too many life and death issues for too many people I know these past two weeks. Life is unfair, but not to me. My husband played Russian Roulette (not with a gun) with his life and and got lucky. He's still here.

Life---Meet my grandkids. Thing One will hereafter referred to as TWMLE (The World's Most Lovable Extortionist) and Thing Two hereafter known as MM (Mystery Man). They are life.

More to follow....

First Blog of an Aging Mother/Grandmother

This blog is in response to my daughter's blog. It seems that we are truly a virtual family. Apparently, I'm amusing. I always thought I was grumpy. So here goes the beginning of my rebuttals. This could be quite a ride.